Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Laughing Out Loud

Okay, I finally did it. I went and applied for a bus driving position today. Now, some people think I'm out of my ever loving mind putting up with screaming banshees on a school bus and disgruntled parents all day long but I beg to differ. If I can deal with what I do on a daily basis I can do this, piece of cake. Not to mention the fact that I have selective hearing. I can tune out a whole bus load of screaming banshees especially because when I'm in a crowd I don't hear one single person speaking if more than one are speaking at a time. Yeah, maybe I have cracked that much.

Basic requirements for the position:

1. Ability to be able to sit for up to 5 hours a day: I have no problems warming a seat with my ass. I'd welcome it for a change.

2. Must be able to lift 35-40 pounds in and out of a bus seat if you drive a special education bus - 35-40 lbs. only!?! Holy shit!!!! Not sure if I can manage that light of an amount. **sarcasm**

3. Must be able to maneuver and adjust a wheelchair and a ramp: Hell, If I had to, I could heave one on and off a bus, no problem. Know how many I've had to heave in and out of people's car trunks? I've even put them together and repaired them. Now, I've never had to use a wheelchair ramp before but I've helped get people on and off of them and have seen them used.

4. Must be able to get from the front of the bus to the emergency door in the back in a timely fashion: Ever see me run on a STAT call!?! I can move when I have to.

5. Must be able to push, pull or drag people up to 200 pounds: This would be rough but I've had to do mock evacuations and fire drills before and I can do it if I have to.

6. Must be able to climb up and down stairs, 3 at a time, on a school bus: For some people this would be very difficult but luckily I don't have any issues doing this.

7. Must be able to push the accelerator on a school bus: I'm sure it's quite different than in a car but once I get used to it I sure hope that bus has cruise control. LOL!

8. Must be able to set and release a parking brake repeatedly: Yeah, I can do it just fine, but it probably starts taking a toll on the elbow and shoulder. I do believe that it's a hand brake on a bus.

9. Must be able to push a clutch: Funny, it never said anything about being able to drive a manual transmission though. You've got to know how to shift gears correctly so you don't strip out that transmission. Most of the buses are now automatics and some even come with a/c.

10. Would you work overtime if asked: Um, working for an employer where 40 hours a week is taboo, yeah you bet I'd take some of that. But I'm not getting it all dumped on me.

Other than having a clean background check, a clean driving record, you're not an alcoholic, a drug addict or a sex offender these are what are required of you to do this job.

What had me laughing so hard, and yes I was laughing as I filling out the application, were some of the above top 10 requirements. Having been a C.N.A. for the past 13 years, this pales in comparison.

The best part is they do all of the classroom and driving training for one to obtain their CDL license. They even pay you $8.00 an hour while you're in the training classes (40 hours). It's not much, but it's better than having to do it for nothing. And they reimburse most of the cost for the CDL license as well.

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